The Motives for Hidden Words

It started off simple. A friend of mine asked me to write him a "gay love story" so really, that is where it began.

However, I have discovered over the years that my writing isn't so much a story I have planned, rather than a story I am telling as I write it. For some reason, my opening lines were anxiety. I didn't even have a name by this point, but this character I was writing was riddled with anxiety. He seemed to have lost trust in someone, someone we learn to be his future best friend and long lasting crush. But what happened? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!

I started off by writing in first person, this was originally just an experiment for my writing capabilities, but it soon became important to Christopher's story. I wanted people to understand that not everything on the outside explains the true internal struggles of someone with anxiety. This book is almost a test and I was amazed to find it worked! I had people commenting on parts with their opinions, then changing it immediately after they discovered the true reasoning. I had someone say, "I was really surprised from that scene when they were studying up the tree. I was thinking Christopher was seriously overacting after what happened, but then we find out why during [Ha ha, no spoilers!]" but that to me was amazing to hear! My experiments were working. People were judging from the outside because just like everyone in Christopher's world, they did not understand what was going on inside. Inside his head, inside his world! No one knew and this is the point I'm trying to make. You do not know everything that goes on inside someone's head. It's easy to judge or look away, but maybe someone needs a hand getting out of their inner turmoil. You don't have to provide therapy sessions, but acknowledging them, saying hello, smiling! Anything could make all the difference to the demons inside a person's head. 

Furthering this point, but in a less deep sort of way ... I wrote this book in first person to explore the chaos in Christopher's mind. Admittedly, he makes me laugh and I was delighted to hear that he made other's laugh, too! He's a disaster but we root for him nonetheless. The things he and his dog get up to, the way he navigates life, how he deals with stress! It's a rollercoaster ride, but don't we enjoy the rides with the most twists and turns? Christopher will keep you engaged throughout, with his opinions, his inner arguments and his desire to get better. To be better. To be Christopher. I promise, you'll enjoy his story.